"...Pat it on the head and sing it a lullaby?" He draws vaguely on his experience as Warlock's nanny. "Though I'm not sure the lullabies I know are appropriate for any child that isn't meant to be ushering in the apocalypse. Er. Can't give it sweets without miracles, I don't have any. Telling it Santa Claus isn't real is the opposite of a good deed. Er..." What would Aziraphale do? Probably a terrible card trick that he would fail at. That's not helpful in the least. "Ask it if it wants to go get ice cream, assuming I have money? I don't know, what do you do with upset children?"